Mother and two daughters

Today, I met my sister for the first time as Louise. She has seen photos of me and has been largely supportive but has been cautious about actually meeting me. In the end my mother invited us both for lunch and my sister agreed to go along.

This was an important day for me as it was of course the first time that mother and both daughters were together. As I suspected, before very long we were chatting about all sorts of things as if we did this all the time. My sister even said that she liked my make-up. I would go as far as to say we had fun today. And lunch was OK, despite my mother never having excelled at catering

I am hopeful that my sister has now got over her initial nervousness that she will be happy to meet for coffee, shopping and other outings in future. I feel closer to her now then I ever have and really feel like a big sister who wants to be friends with, and supportive of, my little sister.

Today is a big day for another reason as it is my first full day on HRT having collected my prescription yesterday. I am still not convinced that the little square piece of plastic is anything other than just that; a little piece of plastic. Personally I think that the NHS is having a huge corporate laugh at my expense. The four layers of packaging just reinforce the feeling that the NHS and the drug company are collaborating on the joke.

Needless to say I don't feel any difference as a result of the release of hormones into the body after only 24 hours. However, I do feel very different just having the patch on my body. This is in part a kind of validation and in part it is the proof that I really am on the final part of a life long journey. I feel like I have been lost in a myriad of un-signposted back roads and lanes and today I have turned a corner and suddenly am driving down a motorway with those large useless illuminated signs proclaiming 'transition straight ahead, journey time 2 years'.

I suppose that everything has its time and the time is now right for me. I no longer think anything of facing the world as the woman who I have always kept hidden in the past. I have heard that 90% of passing in the real world is down to confidence and I can now understand and believe that. This convinces me that the time is right to move to living in my true role and gender with only a number of practical issues preventing it, like selling the family home and getting far enough with electrolysis to obviate the need for tedious facial shaving.

Strange to say, my mother seems to have worked out that this is the inevitable goal without me ever having said so. Today in one of our conversations about clothes she mentioned that she thought that people at work should look smart and she thought that I should have at least one skirt and jacket suit and not be wearing casual casual skirt and top.

Life is good right now so I keep looking for the thing that is going to trip me up and prevent me from achieving my life goal. I am confident, but not smug. I just hope that some of the other bloggers who read this find themselves on their own traffic free motorway leading to their own personal goals.